


Espresso Your Love to Me

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lots of Angst, i just wrote this for angst, past rosepearl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:03:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5004130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's known Rose for well over thousands of years and she has always loved only Rose since the first moment that she was assigned to her. A Pearl that Homeworld had deemed defective, given to Rose in hopes that she would be able to fix it, which she did not. Rose told her that she was fine the way she was, that she should not be ashamed of herself, that she would even be of greater use than a run-of-the-mill Pearl. With her, Pearl felt like her own gem. She wasn't defective for Rose, she was herself. She felt... important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She's known Rose for well over thousands of years and she has always loved only Rose since the first moment that she was assigned to her. A Pearl that Homeworld had deemed defective, given to Rose in hopes that she would be able to fix it, which she did not. Rose told her that she was fine the way she was, that she should not be ashamed of herself, that she would even be of greater use than a run-of-the-mill Pearl. With her, Pearl felt like her own gem. She wasn't defective for Rose, she was herself. She felt... important.

Apparently, not important enough.

After winning the war, Rose wanted to stay on Earth and to protect its' inhabitants and its' beauty-- something Pearl never saw or understood until she made it beautiful for her. No matter how much Pearl didn't care about the planet, she cared and loved Rose and anywhere she goes, she will follow. Her other comrades followed along, their loyalty also unyielding, but what they felt was nothing compared to Pearl's love. She had always assumed it would be her and Rose, together forever. She watched countless humans become Rose's favorite past-time and they would sadly fall in love, but Rose never had any of that. They were just worthless humans who would never be able to truly understand a Gem-- they would never truly fuse. Rose would never love them. 

Then he came along. That Greg Universe boy. The first time he showed up, she knew he was bad news. Pearl already knew what was up and by the time he left, she had already solidified her feelings towards him. Annoyance and dislike. But it didn't matter because Rose would only play with him for a little bit and then push him away like she's always done with her playthings. Except when Pearl watched their relationship develop, she felt her heart crumble little by little and fall into the pit of her insides, because she could see how much further Rose was getting from her and how much closer she was becoming to him.

Rose was in love and there was nothing she could do to stop her. 

There was nothing Pearl could do to stop her from smiling, from laughing, from gazing lovingly upon this... human. The human who wrecked everything for her. The human who made Rose disappear. The human who changed everything. She hated him. Rose deserved better than Greg. Certainly not Pearl, considering that she would never be worthy of Rose's love, but certainly not Greg.

But when Rose left, a bundle of joy arrived. A happy baby boy with black, curly tufts of hair with a gem placed right where Rose's was and Pearl loved him so much. A different love, a maternal love that could almost compete with her love for Rose. Greg and Rose had decided together, a decision that Pearl had no part in, to name him Steven. Steven. A name she would grow to love so much. 

Without Rose, there was Greg and this half-human, half-gem hybrid that she didn't know how to care for and she knew that she and the other gems would have to work together with him to raise a human. Greg tried his hardest and he was a good father, for that, Pearl could give him credit for and she disliked him less and less as she loved Steven more and more.

Her leader, the love of her life, her only reason for living might have been gone, but her longing for validation, worth, for Rose's loving embrace remained. The love for Steven didn't replace that love, but merely intensified it. The more time passed by, the bigger the hole in her heart grew, only to be slightly placated with Steven's love for her. She felt empty, but she needed to be here for Steven. 

Amethyst and Garnet tried to comfort her, but they just didn't understand. They may also be mourning, but nothing compared to Pearl's pain. She knew Rose longer, she was always there by her side, she died multiple times for her, unafraid and willing, they would never understand how Pearl felt. Sometimes, Amethyst would softly lay her hand on Pearl's whenever she noticed she was remembering Rose and on the verge of tears. Other times, Garnet would pull her into a tight hug and tell her that she it will be okay, that she and Amethyst would always be there for her and that Steven loves her, them, all of them.

She watched Steven grow from an infant, to a toddler, to a child, to a gem who was learning how to summon his powers and she was so proud of him. Rose would have been so proud of Pearl, of Steven, of Garnet and Amethyst, and Greg, who raised her son into someone compassionate and filled with love, just like his mother. 

On nights when she felt particularly lonely, she would walk outside to the beach and stare at the stars and think about the life they could have had together traveling the cosmos, had Rose decided to stay. She would fantasize about the two of them laughing together, smiling together, loving together, but she knew that was something that could never be.

She would be alone forever.


	2. Chapter 2

From the moment that Steven was born, she knew she would be alone. At least, that's what she believed in. The only person who believed she was of worth, who made her  _feel_ of worth, was gone. 

Sometimes, she found herself in the arms of her friends behind their gem-sealed rooms, out of view from Steven. Mostly, she found herself with Amethyst, for Garnet was often going to missions by herself. Not that Garnet was ever her first choice, as whenever she sought her out, she felt as if she were infringing upon Garnet's relationship. Amethyst was constantly available, always there, and at the very least, understood how Pearl felt. 

Behind the constant fighting, the bickering, the teasing and the yelling was a slight comfort each had found in each other. Both were lonely and in mourning and found that those feelings of emptiness could be overridden with feelings of carnal pleasure. Both gems had figured out how to make additions to their physical form to emulate the sensitive areas that humans had and made creative uses of them. Amethyst had a strange fixation to Pearl's neck, while Pearl found kissing to be exceptionally delightful. Their hands would wander through the other's body, caressing each other's waists, feeling each other's backs, tangling them into each other's hair. They would ride each other's fingers as they reached their climax, sometimes they use their mouth, sometimes with their legs intertwined with their configured female human parts rubbing together, and they would moan and jerk and convulse and shake as they felt their orgasms quake throughout their bodies.

Usually performed in Amethyst's room, Pearl would often reform her clothes back after doing a quick wipe down of herself and Amethyst and leave after her body had calmed down from their previous activities. She was satiated and finished and would come back when she needed comforting again and Amethyst would, as always, be there. She would often lay down on the makeshift bed she had put together out of some wood and metal for a frame topped with a mattress provided by Pearl. She would lay there alone and mope and think to herself about Pearl. Pearl would never love her, she was too in love with Rose. Pearl was too trapped in the past to move on and Amethyst knew it wouldn't do her any good to even think about falling in love with Pearl.

But she was. And deeply so. 

Amethyst loved Rose too, but not the way Pearl did. She was a mother to her, someone who took her in and took care of her. It was a child-like love and the loss of Rose greatly impacted her and it still did, but there was a place in her heart that Pearl had also taken a residency in. A love that was not like a sister, the way she felt for Garnet, or the love she felt for a younger brother, like Steven, but a love that made her want to explode, a love that made her want to cry every time she reminded herself that Pearl would never return the love she felt for her, but she would take what she was given. 

Whenever Pearl would make her way down to Amethyst's room with a gloomy look on her face, Amethyst already knew what she wanted. It was not to yell at her to clean up her organized mess, not to yell at her for making an inappropriate joke in front of Steven, or making a mistake during a mission, but to seek out a temporary euphoria that she knew Amethyst would never refuse. 

"Amethyst," she would start, her arms wrapped around each other as she looked at the ground. "Are you currently...  _busy_?"  _  
_

She would scoff and look at her from whatever she had been playing with and reply "Does it matter?"

Pearl would walk to wherever she was, gently cup her cheek and press her lips to Amethyst's, a gesture she gladly welcomed. Amethyst would kiss her back, wrapping her arms around Pearl's slender waist as Pearl's wrapped around her neck. They would feel each other and one would brush the other's lip with their tongue and they would open and deepen their kiss. Their tongues would play with each other as their breathing got heavier and faster. They would clumsily make their way to the bed and Pearl would often push Amethyst underneath her, feeling a need to be on top. Pearl would continue kissing her with a slight desperation as she slips her hand underneath Amethyst's tunic, feeling her soft waist, and eventually pulling it higher so that it exposed Amethyst's breasts. A trail of kisses would be made down Amethyst's neck to her breast, where should feel Pearl's warm and wet mouth envelop her nipple as her other breast would be felt up and massaged by her other hand.

They both sure were lucky that Amethyst had a body slightly similar to Rose's. 

For a moment, she would let herself believe that she was actually being loved for being her and let herself drown in the feelings of love that she constantly pushed down or bottled away and let Pearl shower her with needy and desperate attention. She would feel her hand move down from her breast to pull down her pants, move back and rub her clit, rubbing up it while teasing her opening with her other fingers. She would move back up to continue kissing Amethyst's mouth again and she would slowly insert a digit inside, slowly moving back out and diving back inside. A moan would escape Amethyst and she would grab Pearl's arm and pull it so that her finger would go in deeper, to signal that she wanted more. Another finger would go in, pumping slightly faster. 

"Pearl..." Amethyst would moan against her mouth. "Pearl..! Please, Pearl!" 

And her fingers would brush on the bundle of nerves that she knew so well inside of Amethyst and press on it while she thrashed on the bed, her back arching as she repeatedly moaned her name. Pearl would reach down underneath her shorts with her other hand and start rubbing her clit with her thumb as her other fingers slip inside of her coated with her wetness. Seeing Amethyst so lost in herself and gone in pleasure made the pit of Pearl's makeshift stomach fill with warmth and she felt her orgasm starting to build. 

Amethyst would break apart from Pearl's lips and say "It's coming, it's coming" as she would tighten up against her fingers. Pearl would pump her fingers harder and faster, losing her tempo and she'd match her pace the best she could as she felt the warmth grow larger. Suddenly, Amethyst was yelling "Pearl! Pearl!" and clamp on her fingers as she rode out her climax, Pearl still pumping in and out of herself. Once Amethyst's orgasm died down from a raging fire to a dim glow, slightly convulsing, Pearl would climb on top of her face and settle herself on top of Amethyst's mouth and feel her suck and tongue inside of her as she rubbed herself. She would try to suppress her moaning, but would lose it as soon as she starts to feel herself reaching her own climax. 

Pleasure would find its way into her body from her entrance and the warmth would fill her as she would topple backwards on to Amethyst, moaning and shivering as she would continue lapping on her clit.

Feeling slightly hazy and intoxicated, Pearl would roll herself over off of Amethyst and lay down beside her until her body would stop spasming. She would then summon wipes from her gem, perform the routine task of cleaning her and Amethyst up and leave after she phased her clothes back.

Sometimes, Pearl would forgo moaning Rose's name and that would be a good day. Other times, she would moan Rose's name into her mouth as they kissed and that left her feeling even worse that she already would have. Sometimes, Amethyst would pant out an "I love you", which would result in Pearl losing her drive and just finish her off. Other times, she would be able to hold it back and they would both be able to detonate explosions in each other's bodies. 

Either way, she knew what was happening right now wasn't something that was healthy, but it was all she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope it wasn't an awkwardly paced read, I found that it was actually kind of exhausting to write this. Any constructive comments would be much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!! I haven't really written in a while and I was never really like... the fanfic type of person but I've wanted to write something very angsty for Pearl!


End file.
